Hovering.....and social graces.

I am so thankful that we were invited to a birthday party today. To my friend whose kids' party it was...you know who you are and it touched my heart.

As a bit of background, I was just with a few moms having dinner- all have autistic kids. We were saying how we have to hover around our children. One mom commented that another mom walked into a haircut place with many kids. She (the mom w/ the AI kid) thought- gee I am sure they will have to hover and keep an eye on them. But no..there was no need to hover even with many kids. And this isn't a behavioral thing that the child gets into "trouble." They just don't 'get' the social graces or safety issues. Rather, it comes slowly. We "reaffirmed" the hovering thing at a graduation party last weekend as we were always on top of Andrew. It is what it is...as they say...I want to scaffold things for Andrew so that he doesn't miss out but at the same time I need to make sure he isn't in "over his head." (just as a bit of an aside, I've been reading about all the similarities of Alzheimer and autism...both in the origin and in the way it plays itself out with it's caretakers. I'm going to blog on that some day- but wondered if anyone else had thoughts about this.)

I mostly write about all the rip roaring positive stuff but thought I'd interject a bit of 'humor' as to how a party goes with a kid like Andrew....

Chapter one...Andrew can read.

There were two kids with T-shirts with words there. The first one said, "I see your lips move but all I hear is blah blah blah." Well, Andrew spent quite a bit of time trying to befriend her because there was a monkey on the shirt. He loves monkeys. He also went around saying to people..."I see your lips move but all I hear is blah blah blah." And if they hadn't seen the shirt then..well..Andrew looked kind of rude. (The shirt WAS very funny!)

Another's shirt said "Princess." Andrew kept trying to kiss her....many times. I thought the shirt said something along the lines of "if you kiss me I will turn into a princess" but he had gotten the idea from a TV show. On the way home he questioned me and he truly did NOT know that trying to kiss someone was rude. I guess he is mostly around close friends and family so this does make sense. I still haven't gotten it out of him if he thinks she will really turn into a princess.

On the subject of 'rude" we have recently read Captain Underpants. Bad idea....Andrew pulled down his pants at the party LAST weekend. He thought it was funny. I told everyone, "don't laugh." Of course Captain Underpants is twaddle; The Emperor's New Clothes however is not. We read that today and it reinforced that being naked in public is OK. um...I was hoping for a different connection.

Chapter 2....Science experiments....and Juice Bags

Juice bags are very inviting. Andrew is adamant to NOT eat or drink anything that may effect his behavior. Taking the used packages out of the garbage and trying to blow them up like balloons is another matter.

Chapter 3....Tracking

Andrew loves to 'keep track' of things. One way we have scaffolded this is to take pictures. He was most interested in taking pictures of ALL the presents. Try as I might to keep him out of the way it was most difficult. He may never look at the pictures...but they must all be accounted for in his mind. My choice was to stay and take the pictures or leave in a fit of screaming. This time I chose to stay.

Andrew had a rip roaring time. I was exhausted to be sure! (ps: I was going to post a picture but I don't like to post other people's kids without permission so you will just have to use your imagination for now.)