Monday, December 20, 2010

"Santa"


A few weeks ago, Andrew started using 'air quotes.' You know, you put your fingers in a quote position when you are stating something. Explaining to someone WHEN to do that is not an easy task but we have had the opportunity to do that in the past few days.

I mentioned on my previous post that we had a Santa issue again. After that he started asking more and more specific questions. I don't care if people do Santa, don't do Santa...whatever! One reason we have not been more specific before now is that I don't want Andrew to spoil it for others. Last year we did tell him briefly that there is no Santa but he still wanted to believe so we just went with it. We have never marked presents under the tree from him but kind of let Andrew think the stocking was from Santa. Still, even on ones that said, "from mom and dad," he had in his mind were from Santa. We didn't correct him.

Back to last week... He kept asking more and more specific questions. It would have been impossible to perpetuate the myth without outright lying and manufacturing very tall tales. Those who know my kid know that he wants to know SPECIFICS. (And yes we have and do talk about the real St. Nicholas.) So because he kept asking the questions we told him very specifically again that the big red dude in the suit is not real. He was disappointed. I was too a little bit. But I have always had in the back of my mind- if you say Santa and the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny are not real- what about Jesus? (We have never done the Tooth Fairy or the Bunny.) Again, if you do Santa in a big way, then that is fine so please don't send me hate mail. I don't judge. I'm just trying to convey how we are navigating this difficult topic.

Yesterday the subject came up again and he was sad. I finally said, "how about we do..."SANTA." I used giant air quotes around "santa". I said, we can pretend. It'll be fun! And it really was a great idea to him and to me. A fun way to keep the dream alive but not lying. He had actually done this with the word santa a few weeks ago... but he didn't quite get what he was doing at the time. Now he does..and it will be fun. I think it is hard to be in a 10 year old body (and mind in some ways), but be emotionally much younger. It is hard to be a mommy to that 10 year old as well!

I think I will post this on the Holiday Bliss meme because I know there are others that struggle with this topic as well. Plus it is yet another way we are trying to navigate Christmas into holiday bliss. It's a wild ride.

Blessings!!!





6 comments:

Vickie said...

No Santa!!! Are you kidding! Oh man...don't tell my husband or even my kids. Even the 31, 28, and all the teens (and of course the littles) all still "believe" in Santa. I think my husband and my 28 year old daughter and her husband would be the most disappointed :)

Prince Andrew and the Queen Mum said...

Hey Vickie..i think you touched on something. I think we took santa to a FUN NEW LEVEL :) now we can have stress free Santa fun vs. trying to be on edge of what andrew might think/ might not/ are we lying etc.. it CAN be fun :) :)

Debbi said...

Over 20 years ago when I went through an unexpected separation before Christmas time, and I found myself on a single income with no support and I made the decision to tell my two children (now 34 and 26)that there was no Santa...because they were going to be faced with a huge deficit in presents compared to all previous years. I didn't want them to think Santa didn't love them...so I told them. They still talk about the impact it had on them...Dad leaving and no Santa...it was a truly crappy holiday. I now wish I had not told them and let them learn of it more naturally. With Ian, the AS made it challenging to get him to believe us! We had some explaining to do! It took 2 years for him to "adjust" to the new truth. Fortunately, we had a young grandbaby just starting to understand Santa...and it morphed into him being able to become part of the grown-up part of playing Santa. He now protects the Santa myth with everything he's got for the little ones...it's been a great evolution to watch!

SisterTipster said...

I have it on good information that Santa does exist ... LOL...just ck out any mall or dpt store! LOL...as for the facts concerning him~his PR machine has gone a little haywire! LOL...We told ours he was the fun of Christmas~and taught about St Nicholas...fun!

The Glasers said...

i love the air quotes! WOW!

David told me the other day that he believes in the department store Santa . . .

Agapemom said...

You sound just like me and how I handled "Santa". My youngest is 8 and this is the first year he completely understands that "Santa" isn't real. I had the same feelings as you that if I lied about "Santa", the "Easter Bunny", and the "Tooth Fairy" that the story of Jesus would be tarnished. It is nice to find your blog and I LOVE the title... Growing Fruit!

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