There is so much advice out there regarding how to keep a perfect marriage.. especially after kids. There are two personal favorites that I have heard.
1) Make SURE you go on date nights....
2) Make SURE you get "ME" time.
On the date nights... that is all well and good but that doesn't always happen in many families for a variety of reasons; special needs child, eldercare, work requirements, illness. (Ok it almost NEVER happens.) I sure hope that going on a weekly (or monthly or yearly) date with the husband isn't a requirement to stay married. Someone ought to tell that to my marriage certificate which is twenty years old.
On the "ME" time... Again... all well and good. And frankly I have been trying to do this a bit more for myself. But in the past this didn't happen for me. I think you have to often think outside the box when it comes to me time and know that to every thing there is a season. And sometimes "me" seasons are like finding summer in Alaska (or Antarctica.)
The reason that I am writing this is because I often see on facebook and in blogs all the wonderful 'date nights' and me times that people are doing. All the "advice" for a perfect life. As if. And I suppose sometimes there is a bit of bitterness and jealousy that I must confess. But as my friend said, when Moses came back from the field after being gone for months at a time, do you think his wife said, "Moses! You owe me nine date nights!" I don't think either of those two things is even Biblical...necessarily. We mustn't feel down when they don't happen.
Like anything else you need to seek the Lord with all your heart.. He will give you understanding.. and comfort and fill the spaces that only He can fill. I am not besmirching date nights or me time.. just trying to bring a little light to the situation that all that advice can just be.. a little much.
1 comment:
Sometimes, I wonder if our anxiety over not going things "right" is worse that doing things "wrong"...
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