Whispers....

Or I could title this God's Not Dead.

It's a Monday.  Granted a beautiful fall Monday but Monday nonetheless.  We did not want to start school.  I turned on Family Life Radio and this song was playing.





Kid was walking around the kitchen putting away the dishes.  About three quarters of the way into the song (at around 3:35) they WHISPER..'God's Not Dead.  He's Surely Alive."  Kid stops.  And smiles.  He heard the whisper.  I love that. It truly is such a whisper from God I could not let the moment escape without getting it down in black and white.

And to make the connection even more personal, the "Three Things" on the 1000 gifts list   TODAY is "3 Things Said."  

1.  Whispers..  God's Not Dead.  He's Surely Alive.

Freedom and Expectations

I was discussing with our RDI consultant about AJ's behavior.  He is such a good kid.  But sometimes, as most spectrum kids do, he focuses on the negative.  AJ WANTS to know how to behave.  And I want to help him but sometimes things get off track, as they did on Monday with our OT.  This morning I wrote our consultant about our audiology appointment today.  Basically I was asking, "how can I make it work?"  Subtext... "how can I make it PERFECT?"  Here is what she wrote:

I would use the same strategy--review how he felt after negative behavior with OT, preview how he wants to feel after the audiologist, and then discuss how things need to go in order for him to feel good. I would be general rather than specific--polite, hands to self, etc. I would preview, and then see how it goes. If it starts to derail mid-event, I would give him a time out to calm down and then have him go back and finish. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, you can't control it. You can preview and you can guide, but this is up to Andrew. That is important to know because it will impact your guiding in the moment--you can only do so much, and the rest is up to him.

Answer to "how can I make it perfect?"  I CAN'T!!!!!!  (Control is an illusion.)  And knowing that is FREEING and it calms my own nerves and expectations which decreases the tension in the room paving the way for a better result.   When you let go of expectations, amazing things can happen.  I am not sure how today will go.  But it doesn't have to be perfect.

ps:  You can apply this to basically any part of your life and in any relationship.  :)

Broken Glass

I have read several books, blogs and listened to messages about 'broken glass.'  You know.. how God uses broken glass to shine His light thru.  We are the broken glass.  Yada yada yada....

Today I was going through my journal from August.  I was following along in a "listening to God book" where the author suggested asking God, "what do You think of me?"  His answer, as I discerned it, was "broken glass."  I wrote it down.. I meditated on it.  I think He was telling me that He will 'glue' all the pieces back together seamlessly.

Here is how I pictured it at our starting point.

Purty isn't it??!!!!

Yesterday shortly before  I was pulling roasted broccoli from the oven, I heard a pop.  Thank you JESUS I had not yet opened the oven because THIS is what I found when I opened it this morning.

Ugly ain't it?!  The funny thing is that the timing was not a coincidence.  I had forgotten I had written about the broken glass in August.  I "just happened" to decide to spend this morning looking through my journal from the past month and saw that 'visual' that God had given me.  Yes.. this is the starting point.  It is gross, it is messy.  It isn't clean glass.  There were defects that were in there long before the shattering even occurred.  I just didn't see them.  And THIS is the starting point.  And yet He STILL seamlessly pulls it all together.

Somehow..

Someway...

We've Come A Long Way Baby

We have been working on an RDI objective for over a year and a half.  (I went and checked.  We started in February of 2012.)   Other objectives have been tackled in between but if you have a spectrum kid, you know this is a big one:

Student Objective: Distinguishes between significant and unimportant changes and reacts differently based on the analysis

We have done all sorts of different frameworks for this one but yesterday I was cleaning thru a pile of 'junk' that has been in that pile for probably around a year.  I found these little pieces of paper in there.

One of the first activities that we did in this objective was to talk about changes that already have happened or 'easy' changes.  I included some of my own.  There are also a few in there that were difficult for him but he still handeled them "ok."  I would spotlight.. I have decaf and sometimes regular coffee.  You can put different things in a smoothie.  In winter you wear long sleeves, in summer short.  (This used to be BIG for us.)  I also included FUN things such as, "we can skip work and go to the park."

We also did varying degrees of changes with the same framework.  Stubbing your toe vs. cutting it and needing a bandaid vs. having to go to the hospital for stitches.  Or on the positive end; winning a dollar vs. a thousand vs. a million.

People off wonder about the inner sanctum of RDI work.  There really isn't mystery but you do need a trusted guide.  And our guide took us step by step through this. (She still is.)

Honestly we are not yet done with this one.  We still want to re-arrange the living room even more.  That should be insignificant to him yet it is not.  When we changed where two couches were placed we heard about it for six months.  When the sheet on his bed ripped he didn't want a new one and we heard about that for three months.  But this week we gave him an option to move a futon from one room to another or sell it.  And he has also chosen to sell two gaming systems because he has a replacement for them.

We have come a LONG way BABY!

I Have A Dream....

This week is the 50th anniversary of the Martin Luther King Jr Speech I Have A Dream.  I have been doing some dreaming of my own this week.  I have a dream... that one day..

Healing will be something more expected in the Church.  Faith will grow, healings will flow.  It happened that way in the early church.  It can happen ..and does happen today.. but I pray it is a regular thing.  An extravagant thing.

Disabilities that still exist will not be something that a program has to be built around.  Children, and adults, with disabilities will just be a part of the woodwork.. the framework.. for every day life.

Children with disabilities will not be excluded from a Christian education.  Christians will see that academics are not the only reason to send their child to a private school.   They will see not only the NEED, but the privilege there is when including those with various abilities and disabilities.  (Here is an example of that. Here is another example.)

'Service' within the framework of church and Christian schools would not be an "outside activity" done for "10 hours a month,"   but rather an 'inside the heart' activity and something that is part of their being.. not part of their life.  Churches would not have to think about programs.  There would just be individuals who step up and just 'do.'  Programs would be an outpouring of that.

And.. as a personal note, I have a dream to be part of this.  When I was a kid, I received this book, Somebody Go Bang a Drum.  It is  about a family with one child that adopts many more of various nationalities.   That book has stuck with me.  And perhaps someday, we too will have a home with various different people.  It won't happen the way I thought.. way back when.. but I still have a dream to build a 'family' of some sort that would include a wide range of individuals.  Someday..

Nifty Neighbors.. I Am Blessed.

A nasty letter made the front page of yahoo today.  You can read about it here.  And a bit more with video on Huffpost.  It is hateful.  It is sad. In a nut shell shell the neighbor of an autistic boy thinks the young man should be euthanized.  One thing that is important to remember is that the other neighbors rallied around this family with the autistic child.  Most people are not like this one neighbor.   So at this point I started thinking about my fantastic neighbors and felt the need to share.  Because it is always the bad ones that make the press.

---  I have written about this one before but on one warm summer day, my son was playing super soakers in the backyard.  He decided to flee to the neighbor, open the front door and open "water" in their living room with the super soaker.. on their TV.  The first thankful item is that their attack dogs did not attack.  The mom couldn't believe this.   (Thank you for your protection Jesus.)  The second was that the TV was not damaged.  (At least they told me it was not.)  But they were spectacular.  They forgave us without a second though AND.. brought US cookies.  Who does that??  Only fabulous neighbors.

--- There is an elderly gentleman who lives across the street.  He likes to talk. The kid likes to talk.  Sometimes they can not understand each other but there is always a grand conversation going on.  He is so nice to the kid.  And... he remembered when kid's birthday was a few years ago and brought him a gift.  (He does not drive anymore either.)  Whether the present was tucked away in his basement or he went out to get it somehow, I don't know. But it was very appropriate.  It was a paper, pencil, sharpener combo packet with super heroes on it!

---  Next door is a lovely woman who always has a special packet of Halloween treats for the kid and actually for all the neighborhood children. She figured out somehow that we are on the GFCF diet.  The next year, she had a full size box of GFCF animals crackers waiting for him. (I forgot to mention..At one point the kid has also gone in this woman's house unannounced, when we were talking on her porch.  He went in and hid under one of the her beds... again.. forgiveness.)

--- One time many years ago, I went to the high school down the street for a walk with the kid.  On the way home he melted down.  I could not really even get him home.  I did manage to get to our street but he plopped down with a major tantrum.  A neighbor (who we did not know) was outside with someone who had stopped at their house and this stranger offered to take us the rest of the way home.  So with kid screaming bloody murder, she allowed us in the back of her car and took us about 10 more houses north which would have been an eternity on foot.

--- And finally, another neighbor recently gave kid the job of taking care of his cats.  To the tune of $20 per weekend.  We are going to frame that $20.. because it was so much more than the money to him.  It was confidence of a job well done.  And it meant so much to me that a neighbor would give MY kid this opportunity.

They are not all bad apples.  In fact most are not.  And I am sure I have more instances I can't think of at the moment.  We are blessed.

Some People Go to Disney

The summer is a little rough for those who have kids on the spectrum.  Vacation pictures abound.  I know people like to call Facebook ...Fakebook or Phototopia...  because they can't be having NON-stop fun at that beach vacation.  Can they?  I tell myself they aren't writing about the hemorrhoid that is causing them great pain as they bounce around on the tube behind the boat.

But still I have to confess a bit of jealousy when I see all the fun people are having.  Yea. Summers are rough.  Long vacations are just a little difficult with kids on the spectrum.

But tonight I had an exceptional experience sharing moment with my kid.  Several in fact.  Experience sharing is a term used in RDI (and child development) but it is self explanatory.  It is just sharing.. no agenda.. no skills involved.. no pressure.. just sharing.  With spectrum kids it doesn't necessarily happen automatically.

Kid will be thirteen soon and when I looked in the mirror this morning, he shot up higher than me.  I told him certainly he could ride in the front seat.  You would have thought I said, "we are going to Disney!!!"  He was so geeked.  And it was so much fun.  He sat in the front, we opened up the sunroof and stuck our hands through the top.

And.. then we came across a mama and her baby deer crossing a fairly busy road.  I yelled GRAB THE PHONE!!!  TAPE IT!!!  You can see a wee bit of the last baby deer off to the right of this video and you can hear just a small bit of what 'experience sharing' was all about for us tonight.



We kept driving and were able to find the dairy free soft serve place in Birmingham after driving around the block several times.  And we parallel parked right in front!  Bonus.  Thank you Jesus.  (He does care about the little things.)  We had never been there and so it was .. an experience.  It was loud and crowded and we were both a little overwhelmed but it was fun.  Kid gave the ice cream itself a so-so review.  It was more about the experience for him.

On the way home I'm pretty sure I saw Matthew Perry or his doppelganger coming out of the Townsend Hotel.  (There are a lot of movies shot in Detroit.. so it is possible.)  I tried to share this with the kid  but he could care less!

And the stars.  The ones in the sky.  There is a bright one out tonight.  I think it is Venus.  We had to come home to open our iPad app to find out, but it was one more thing to share.

And just so you know, when we got home, and he headed straight to the computer!  I guess he was done.

But I am thankful.. I am blessed.. and #sometimesitsthelittlethings.


Anyway... just sharing.

What's Your Wire?

I watched with baited breath as Nik Wallenda crossed the grand canyon.  It was crazy.  And the whole time he focused on Jesus.  I know that's what I'd do if I had that grand expanse below me.

But it got me to thinking.  He focused on Jesus the WHOLE walk.  And during that talk he MOSTLY praised Jesus.  There were times when he did ask for help from God, specifically to calm the winds (which He didn't), but also to just wait for the toughest winds to pass.

And I can't believe almost two weeks later I still haven't seen any references in any of my groups to how this is relates to real life.  I'm sure someone has done a blog or two on it.  But it has been on my head and heart since half way thought his walk over the Grand Canyon.



Here are a few things I noticed....

• His prayer was mostly praise!!
• There was a time for rest even on that short walk.  
• He waited.  
• He had requests to God along the way (which may or may not have been answered regarding the wind.  I don't really know.. but the wind didn't stop.  That much is for sure.)  But the requesting was the smaller part of the ongoing dialogue.
• Conditions were not perfect.  But he still walked forward.
• His pace changed during the walk based on conditions and information.
• He had human guides helping him.  Mentors.  
• He told people no. (He said he didn't want to talk to anyone during the walk.)
• He ran to the finish.

Of course Nik did this seemingly willingly. Although I'm pretty sure God called him to do it or he would not have done it.

Many of us don't have a choice to walk our high wire.  You can read our story (just a small part of it really) here.  But there are many that deal with autism, hearing impairment, other disabilities... .. illness, accidents... divorce...addiction...  infertility.. ..  the list goes on.  Everyone has a wire.

But in all of these high wire acts the answer is really the same.  Keep your eyes on Jesus.  Run the race with perseverance (and that doesn't mean fast.)

Magazines!!.. give-away

As part of the Propeller review group I was given a free subscription to a magazine from Magazines.com.  I chose Rachel Ray.  Are you surprised?  If you know me, I think not.

There are some real Mother's day deals HERE on Magazine.com.  Even though they gave me a free one, I am pretty sure I will order another.  I have done the virtual magazines and I guess I'm still a paper gal.  The deals are SO good!

So pick one up!!  And..  register to win $10 toward magazines in the future.


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"Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in hope that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

Why I like RDI....

I have several posts on this subject that I have already done.  People don't have any idea of what RDI is unless they do it.  Several years ago ... probably 8.. I went to an Autism Awareness Friends and Family  Day presentation.  I invited friends and family. ;)  During the seminar they had a video of a child who had graduated from ABA.  It was an example of 'success.'   Andrew was so young at the time and I was full of promise of what it might be like to have a child who had 'done the therapy' and was healed/cured/remediated/graduated from the program but I was so sad as I left the event.  It was a back and forth of a question..answer.

Interviewer:  What's your name?
child: BettyLou
Interviewer: What grade are you in
child: 4th
Interviewer: What's your favorite subject?
child: writing.

And on it went...

And I felt sick to my stomach when I left because that is not what I wanted for my child.

A week ago I went to a seminar where Temple Grandin was the speaker.  I could not put my finger on it, and while it was very interesting, it bothered me.  A friend who does RDI asked how it went and I told her.  This is the email I wrote;


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She is very aba… 

She is very 'pro strengths'.. over half the people there were teachers and when she mentioned that not everyone needs algebra.. everyone clapped.   Also when she talked about how schools are not built for those who are visual and spacial learners.. again clapping. 

She talked about the importance of work for kids on the spectrum.. getting jobs walking dogs.. that sort of thing.

Said work places should be more accommodating.  They can give a wheel chair ramp but won't give an autistic person a private office.  Or change the lighting.  And they should.

She talked about fitting job to the person.

People who have heard her before say that it is the same presentation every time but it was the first time i have heard her and it was interesting.

She talked about how you have to teach 'these kids' everything.  My immediate thought is that you CAN'T teach anyone everything!!  

-------  

My friend did not tell me her opinions before I told her mine and I mentioned how it was just..... slightly weird!  And that was it.... the presentation and the Q&A were..awkward.   She did bring up some FABULOUS points.  The jobs are important.   Giving a voice to changes in education is priceless.  Dr. Grandin is to be respected and admired for what she has accomplished and given a voice to.

But, Dr. Grandin is famous.  She has a great life and more power to her!!  But not every child on the spectrum will grow up to be Temple.  99.99% wont.  So how do they 'succeed' in their own right?

That is where Relationship Development Intervention.. RDI...  comes in.  RDI doesn't teach a kid "everything they need to know."  It teaches kids how to think, how to adjust, how to BE.. in the world.  As an example here are the two objectives we are working on right now:

• Distinguishes between significant and unimportant changes  and reacts differently based on the analysis.

•  The Student has an accurate generalized experience of himself as a competent decision-maker - someone who can effectively engage with challenges 


If you have a child on the spectrum PLEASE do not go out and just try and do these objectives.  They are of hundreds (probably thousands) and we have a trusted guide that takes us through how to navigate this for OUR child.  But I show them as an example.  As you can see they don't teach.  For the first one we are working on the significance of any change.  And they happen all day every day.  What should we have for dinner or breakfast?  Could we have dinner FOR breakfast?  My child views every change as significant so we have to start small.

By the same token, I have spoken to friends about how ABA may have allowed us to have a more 'normal' life.  Would my child do better at following the rules?  Would we have a quieter life?  Right now... yes.  Maybe.  But what would the future look like?  To be honest part of the reason I am writing this blog entry is  my own therapy.  To show myself that yes we are on the right track.  I was reminded by my PT today that there are many points of entry into the circle of remediation.  (And that is more for another day.)  But RDI has really made a difference in how my kiddo handles real life.

Hey God, I've God Some Guy Named Jonah in my Stomach....

Another great review opportunity crossed my path and I was sure this was one the kid would like.   Over Easter he wrote portions of the Easter story from the perspective of various persons involved.  You can scroll down on the blog to read some of those.  This is a funny book about Jonah.. written from the perspective of the whale.  Right up our alley.   It is called- "Hey God, I've Got Some Guy Named Jonah in my Somach and I think I'm Going to Throw Up,"  by Troy Schmidt

The writer for this book is also the lead writer on The American Bible Challenge which is hosted by Jeff Foxworthy on the Game Show Network.  And there will be more books coming out in this series including..Hey God, Can you Stop the Rain so I can Get off Noah's Smelly ark?  and.. Hey God, I'm having an Awful Vacation in Egypt Thanks to Moses.   Sounds hilarious!  

In addition to the purchase page, you can see the author's facebook page.  For an inside peek, here is a video showing pages from the book.

This is a super fun book that kids of many ages would be delighted to have.  The theme is trusting God.  (Why does that topic keep smacking me in the face, even with kids' books!)  It is a lighthearted read of course, but there is a page at the end that lists things to read, things to think and things to do.  I do recommend purchasing this.. If you don't win it... 

Which brings me to the contest, again sponsored by the folks at Fly By Promotions.  This didn't work out so well last time.  I think Rafflecopter can be confusing.  Below there are options to enter.  The first one is very easy.  Just click on +1 and you will be entered with one point value.  If you are, or wish to follow this blog, you may use 'Google Friend Connect'.  You will see this on the side bar.  You can become my friend and then list your GFC name in the Rafflecopter space provided.  If you are already a friend you may also enter this but please indicate your GFC name in the Rafflecopter entry so I can verify if you win.  This is worth +3 and will allow you a greater chance to win.   You may also Tweet the contest and leave a link to your tweet as indicated.  This is a +2 entry. 

If you don't win..  I'd buy the book.  It's a keeper.   

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"Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in hope that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

Fasting

This is autism awareness month and honestly, I avoid all the media.  I am.. aware.  But there is one 'event' that I had forgotten about until mid-April.  It is the Children of Destiny prayer push.  They actually have prayer every day of the year but there is a special push in April.  And today, April 23, there is a day of prayer and fasting.

This has lead me, via their extended prayer sheets on Children of Destiny, to Isaiah 58 which talks about true fasting.  It is never just about the food.  It is about the heart..  The fasting is a symbol of what is suppose to go on inside the heart.  And also how that effects our outer appearance and actions.  Fasting allows us to further our relationship in the Lord by relying on Him.  Then we gain a better understanding about who we are and WHOSE we are.  It is only then that our actions are changed for the right reasons.

I feel as if I am talking and writing in circles here.  What does fasting do?  I am just now trying to grasp this for myself.  This is what I have so far.

- Fasting requires that we come close to God.  We can not do it on our own effort and if we do we will either fail or miss the biggest blessing of a fast..getting to know Him

- Effect the outcome, change the tide, push a prayer we have been wanting for a long time over the edge.  Why?  I am not sure I firmly have this in my mind and heart yet.  It is because He is faithful first. Our fasting is a sign of repentance and a sign of humbling ourselves to God.  A sacrifice to our God.  A fragrant offering up to God (Philippians 4:18). It shows God we are serious.  Even though He knows our heart better than we do ourselves, there is still something we do on our part ...  maybe it is to show ourselves that we are willing to sacrifice for Him.

- Fasting can change the hearts of others.  God can and DOES directly heal our children. He also works in the hearts of others to move to help our families.

All of this can happen without fasting.  I am sure of that.  But as the Lord leads, people should consider fasting, not as a duty (as Isaiah 58 discusses) but as a love offering to our Lord.

"You Owe Me Date Nights Moses!!"

OK I took the above blog post title from a friend.  It cracked me up. I suppose I should back up a bit....

There is so much advice out there regarding how to keep a perfect marriage.. especially after kids.  There are two personal favorites that I have heard.

1)  Make SURE you go on date nights....

2) Make SURE you get "ME" time.

On the date nights... that is all well and good but  that doesn't always happen in many families for a variety of reasons; special needs child, eldercare, work requirements, illness.    (Ok it almost NEVER happens.)  I sure hope that going on a weekly (or monthly or yearly) date with the husband isn't a requirement to stay married.  Someone ought to tell that to my marriage certificate which is twenty years old.

On the "ME" time... Again... all well and good.  And frankly I have been trying to do this a bit more for myself.  But in the past this didn't happen for me.  I think you have to often think outside the box when it comes to me time and know that to every thing there is a season.  And sometimes "me" seasons are like finding summer in Alaska (or Antarctica.)

The reason that I am writing this is because I often see on facebook and in blogs all the wonderful 'date nights' and me times that people are doing.  All the "advice" for a perfect life.  As if.   And I suppose sometimes there is a bit of bitterness and jealousy that I must confess.  But as my friend said, when Moses came back from the field after being gone for months at a time, do you think his wife said, "Moses!  You owe me nine date nights!"  I don't think either of those two things is even Biblical...necessarily.  We mustn't feel down when they don't happen.

Like anything else you need to seek the Lord with all your heart.. He will give you understanding.. and comfort and fill the spaces that only He can fill.  I am not besmirching date nights or me time.. just trying to bring a little light to the situation that all that advice can just be.. a little much.

This Is Our Time

I had the opportunity to review a new family oriented DVD.  What a nice change from the general film offerings that are out there.

The movie is This Is Our Time.

To summarize from the website:

The movie tells the interwoven stories of Luke (T.J. Dalrymple) and Alé (Erin Bethea), who marry right after school and move to India to serve as missionaries for Embrace A Village, a ministry that cares for those afflicted with leprosy and their families; aspiring financier Catherine (Kate Cobb), who joins a prestigious financial institution determined to make an impact on corporate America; Ryder (Matthew Florida), who lands an impressive job in social media and can’t wait to use the powerful medium for a greater good; and Ethan (Shawn-Caulin Young,) seemingly the odd man out, who struggles to find his God-given-purpose and feels sidelined by God.

“What they all come to learn is that it never really was their time,” Arnold said. “It always was, always is, God’s time.”

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The movie is based off Jeremiah 29:11.  "For I know the plans I have for you" says the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."  The story spoiler is pretty much given away in the clip below; but how the events unfold and the response of the characters is the important part of the story.  One of my favorite 'themes' of the movie is that we all play 'roles' with each other and when Christians come together as one unit or body, we are so much stronger.  There is no insignificant role.  We can not live in a vacuum.  (I have so much more to say on this but perhaps that is for a different post.)

The acting in the movie is good as is the character development.  I did feel as if I got to know them more and more as the movie went on.  Some of the transitions between scenes were choppy.. like I was going to get a commercial at that point.  But all in all the production value was good.  And I hate saying this part.. but it was good especially for a Christian film.  With budgets as they are, Christian movies sometimes feel 'cheap' but this one did not.

A central piece of this movie involved Embrace a Village charity which takes physical, emotional and spiritual healing to leprosy colonies in the State of Tamil Nadu which is one of the 28 states of India.   You can see it on the south east corner of this map of India.  (If you homeschool feel free to count this as your geography lesson for the day.)

The movie places each character in different roles in how they serve God... from the United States all the way to the edges of India .. and the theme is that no one is more important that the other.  All play a role.

You can purchase the movie here at Christian Cinema.
Of course they have a Facebook Page.

Here is a clip.  It does give away a big part of the film but as I mentioned, the people are really the story.. not the plot.

The folks at FlyBy promotions are offering up a free DVD!  So please enter below.  Make sure to hit the enter button and leave your info in the comments as instructed.



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Diary of.. Peter

I know..it's past Easter.. but we are still working up our Resurrection Eggs story.  Going to post one a day.  Perhaps it will keep the Easter message in my mind.   The shape of blood cells at the end is just random thinking.  I love that about my kid.  It says, "hey look!  something shiny."   And who knows WHAT they talked about since the disciples were together all day every day.  And I am sure they didn't know the gravity of the time they were about to enter.  

diary of peter(the cup)

Dear diary, we had a supper. Jesus said this one would be the last one, but i’m pretty skeptical. And he freaked us all out saying one of us would betray us. I know I wouldn't! Jesus said judas was the one, then told him to “go do his work”.  Jesus gave us some bread and said it was his body, and it shall be broken. I understand both jesus and bread are good, but bread?!?! he also gave us wine, saying it was his blood. Jesus isn't crazy, but he spoke like it. In a little bit, we’re going to go to to gethsemane in the mountain of olives. and on the way there, i’m going to argue with james about what shape blood looks like really small(i’m pretty sure they look like T’s.)

Peter

Diary of .. Judas...

The second Resurrection Egg are the three coins.  Here is Judas' diary as written by AJ.




diary of judas(the coins)
Dear diary, the pharisees were angry, and I knew why. I remember doing this, but i had no intent to go to the temple and pay the pharisees to kill jesus. I am still watching, and struggling to keep this entry secret. wait. I love jesus. why did I do that? maybe I was possessed or something. i’m not on board with the possession thing though.

judas

Diary of...

Kiddo is doing a 'diary' this year of the Resurrection Eggs.  If you are not familiar they are plastic eggs filled with one part of the Easter Story.  He is only on day 'two' (of twelve) but thought I'd at least post them out as we get them done.  The first entry is written by the disciples that went to get the donkey for Jesus.   He wrote "unknown" because we could not find which disciples went to fetch the donkey.  I was using these as part of our school work to improve punctuation, capitalization and grammar but I've decided to let that slide in order to let the story be told.   (If you are here from the "40 Days of Seeking Him,"  stop back in over the next weeks if you are interested in hearing how the story all turns out.)



diary of ****(unknown)(the donkey)
Dear diary, jesus sent us on a mission to get a donkey. Seriously, he should get one of those horses, like the roman guys do! Ok, so we went to get the donkey. A angry house owner saw us taking the donkey, and I think we would have had gone to the hospital had it not been for my buddy disciple telling him jesus sent us. He calmed down instantly! The donkey is kinda scratchy, so we went to get some cloaks for jesus’s comfort. He is the one and only, after all! You should have seen the crowd! They were so loyal! They waved palm branches and placed branches and cloaks on the ground! However, the oh-so prideful Pharisees did not celebrate. I’d say more if I could, but jesus is flipping tables in the temple and attempting to whip people, and I cant miss action like that.

Resurrection Eggs Story

Kiddo wrote this last year.  It is a beautiful narration of the Easter Story and goes along with Resurrection Eggs.

Once upon a time there was a king.  He was destined to become the king of kings.  People awaited this coming.  When he came on a donkey, they rejoiced him like a hero had come(in fact he is a hero but we’ll get to that later). they laid their clothes and waved palm branches. everybody was happy. well, almost everybody. the Pharisees were mad about this king. each time, they tried to prove jesus was a quack. and each time they failed. this was because jesus knew everything(he even knows your concealed sins. please ask for forgiveness). but one day, a disciple named judas iscariot came to the pharisees temple. He was offered some cash to betray jesus(yup, its true). very sad indeed(but don't worry, good things will come out of it). a while later, jesus and his friends were having dinner(including that betrayer, judas). jesus held up some bread and broke it. “this is my body it will be broken.” then he got some wine. “this is my blood. you shall have it.” what does it mean? you shall find out, my friend…oh! by the way, jesus mentioned somebody betraying him(judas, obviously). that night, jesus went to the garden of  gethsemane. on the way there, peter said: “lord, i will do anything for you, i will even die for you!” but jesus responded, “you will say 3 times that you don't know me before the rooster crows.”(peter may have thought jesus’s brain was grilled. however, jesus was right!) when they got there, jesus prayed while he sweated blood(something that doesn’t usually happen to people). the disciples were in a major struggle to stay awake. but jesus said “wake up and pray for me.” so they did(or at least tried). then… soldiers came! they got jesus! peter counterattacked by slicing a soldiers ear off! but jesus said he shouldn't do it and healed the soldiers ear. they put him in a trial and did cruel mocking. they blindfolded him and whipped him. “if you are really the king of the jews, tell us who is hitting you!” they did many cruel things to this innocent, innocent, man. :(  meanwhile, peter was walking around town. he went to warm himself by the fire. a woman saw him and said: “hey, you're that guy who goes with jesus!” peter blurted, “what!?!?! no i’m not!!! i don't even know jesus!” a man said back, “yes you are! i’ve seen you before!” peter said back, “I AM NOT PETER!!! AND I DONT KNOW JESUS!!! NOW GO AWAY!!!” another man said: “YOU ARE PETER! I CAN PROVE IT!” peter said one last time:”I AM NOT PETER AND I DONT KNOW JESUS!!!!!!” then the rooster crowed. peter had remembered what jesus said and wept. tomorrow, the pharisees told caesar about jesus, but he could not find out any guilty parts. he took jesus to the angry mob and said, “shall i crucify jesus and set barabbas the murderer free? or crucify barabbas and set jesus free?” the crowd did not care that barabbas was a killer. they wanted to crucify jesus. “CRUCIFY JESUS! CRUCIFY JESUS!” and so it was. all friends of jesus mourned. the soldiers beat him cruelly and put a thorny crown on him and jesus was called “king of the jews”. then they nailed him to the cross. they gambled with a die to see who got jesus’s clothes. They also pierced him with spears. a about-to-be-crucified criminal said: “lord, forgive my sins!” another criminal said “forgive me and bless me!” jesus said, “you two shall both be with me.” then jesus said:”i am thirsty.” a soldier gave him a sponge soaked with vinegar. then jesus said:”FATHER, I GIVE YOU MY SOUL!” then he said: “IT IS FINISHED!” then he died! the earth shook! the curtains of the ark of the covenant ripped! a day later, some men come and got jesus’s body. they wrapped it in linen. it was a sad day. they put him in a tomb and put a rock in the entrance. soldiers guarded it. then… a angel came and rolled away the rock! the soldiers fainted. that day, 3 women came to the tomb. to their surprise, the rock was rolled away! jesus’s body was gone! a angel appeared to them and said “DO NOT WORRY. HE HAS RISEN.”(angels have holy voices, so this is why i put on the “caps”.)the women were excited and told the exciting story to the disciples (everybody but judas. according to acts 1:1-10, judas bought a field, but he died and his body bursted open and his intestines poured out[if this makes you feel uncomfortable, i am sorry]). that day, the disciples were having dinner. thomas was not there. then jesus appeared! “PEACE BE WITH YOU.”(holy voice again! :D) the disciples were amazed! later, thomas was dining with them. jesus appeared again! “PEACE BE WITH YOU.”(i like this “holy caps” business! :D) thomas said, “i wont believe it!” jesus replied, “touch my hands and feet.” thomas touched them and he believed that jesus rose! jesus said, “anybody who believes in me will truly be happy.” later, the disciples went with jesus. “the holy spirit shall be with you.” jesus said. then something happened! jesus was lifted to the sky on a cloud and went to his home - heaven! the disciples kept looking up! two angels appeared and said, “why are you staring at the sky? jesus will come back someday.” so you see, its not about the so-called “easter bunny”, its about jesus.  jesus died on the cross to forgive our sins - even the easter bunny’s.

It isn't about the giving up...

Many people 'give up' stuff for Lent.  TV, Facebook, all types of food food.  (What did people give up before technology?)...  people give up complaining, excuses, criticizing.

I think there are more important questions than what you give up.  Rather it is WHY do you give it up?  And what do you fill it with?  Because giving up complaining for a month is all well and good but well, we shouldn't do that anyway.. right?   Yet still that is not a bad thing to give up in order to build a new habit!!!  (I should probably add the complaining to the fast list for Lent.) And when we get rid of anything we need to fill it with good. This is Biblical.

And it gets down to heart issues I think.  And we must not judge how and why others fast.  It is personal.  There are oodles of scriptures about not judging but the one that comes to mind with food is

The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. Romans 14:3

-------At this point put in a record scratching stop sound effect  in your head.. or play the following------
                                             Go ahead.. play it.

I wrote everything above at the beginning of Lent but I didn't finish the post.  Although I did give up some things, and I'm not doing bad at the GIVING UP,  it is the filling up with other GOOD stuff that is the issue.  Thanks be to GOD that Easter is all about Him.  And in the failure I am finding part of my problem.. of course it can't be done on our own strength.  Each time I obey and succeed I know it is by His effort.  Each time I neglect obeying and fail, I fall on the cross and am thankful for His grace.  Even this,  I am not good at and it is a process for me.  To truly understand that He loves me like crazy.  He wants to help me, to bless me and I need do nothing but obey and receive His love.  And not in that order.  He loves us first... and then we can obey, and love others as He commanded.  I hope I can come out of Lent with a bigger understanding of that.

Like A Little Child

I intended to blog at least once a week during lent.  I have been reading through the Gospels and writing "blog" next to "deep thoughts" I come across but they haven't all made it to the blog.  Today I did something I have done before.. so simple..  but I am not sure that I have ever written it down.

From Mark 10:15

I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.  

So I just started dashing down the traits of a little child... (well a typical little child anyway..)

Full Acceptance

                     No Questions

         Follow Their Parents Lead 

              Trust

                                            Learn

         Laugh during the process

Cry during the process

                           Make Mistakes

         Accept Forgiveness

These are just a few.  I know.. it's all been said before it struck me harder this time around.

Baggage

I have some posts in my mind but I caught this song from a contestant on American Idol.   She is amazing.  The song, written and sung by Angela Miller,  is about baggage.. something that Jesus set us free from the day he died on the cross.   I can't stop listening.  What a gift God has given her.

Be Still...Lenten Reflections

As I type this.. It is suppose to be 'me time.'  Or me and God time..  Every night kid plays computer.  It started as a reward but has ended up as a "10 minutes to Wapner" thing.  But that's another post.  And he's playing his game and even THAT is bringing a meltdown.  

Dear Lord, 

        How do I rise above this?  

What's that you say??  
   
        Headphones?  

Music?  

       What song Lord?  

Oh thank you Jesus.  

In Quietness and Rest is Your Salvation

This verse came to mind as I sat down to write my first Lenten post of the year..  In quietness and rest is your salvation.  I actual verse is...

Isaiah 30:15
This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel says:
"In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it."

Oh how I want to have it.  I seek it.  I feel on some days that it is a game of hide and seek.  The 30th chapter of Isaiah is about those that run from God and what happens when they do.  May it not be so.  May I desperately seek Him.  May He find me... and save me from myself. And He does.  

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you;
    he rises to show you compassion.
For the Lord is a God of justice.
    Blessed are all who wait for him! Isaiah 30:18

Andrew and I are doing a Lenten devotional.  Today's reading was from Genesis.  Why did Adam and Eve hide?  The chapter says Adam was afraid.  Perhaps he also was embarased and ashamed knowing his wrongs.  The difference between the garden and now is that we have someone who took the place of that wrong and EVERY wrong that followed it.  May we truly understand that love.. that our hearts may turn back to the ONE that created us.

May we spend these 40 days in repentance, rest, quietness and trust...