Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Been thinkin' about balance a lot the last couple of days in every area of life. Take diet for instance. I am on oodles of healthy groups on yahoo and on facebook. We discuss things like, do apple seeds contain arsenic? Is saturated fat good? Is eating boxed cereal a terrible thing? When I buy organic food, what do they fertilize it with? Not kidding- each of these topics has come up in one way or another over the past week. For me the key is balance. I made homemade granola today with organic gluten free whole oats and organic brown sugar. But at some point I will open up the box of Gorilla Munch when the oats are gone because I have not had time to make more granola. I will put 'make granola' on the to do list and it will get done but not at the expense of my sanity.
But those are personal choices...and although not 'easy' they do not effect the masses. I struggle more with balance when taking Andrew in public and have been pondering this as well. Why, I wonder, do we always think that certain behavior is the 'right' behavior? With autism there are many behaviors that are not 'bad'..they just 'are.' But even take autism out of the equation. I think there is a time to be quiet and a time to be loud. But some kids NEED quiet from a sensory standpoint. But some kids NEED loud. They need to run and be 'crazy' and then they can sit back down and be their dutiful selves but it seems to me that many people think that the 'quiet' is the 'right' answer. If there is someone who needs quiet why does that always take priority? It is just as difficult for a child who needs extra input sometimes as one who can't take things on overdrive. I have a friend who has a child who is the opposite of Andrew..she doesn't like it wild and crazy and she needs calm. But my friend 'gets' that being wild and crazy is a fine way to be. Our children will never be friends, and our current friendship is reserved for the phone and middle of the night facebook chats. And that is just the way it is right now. Sure we'd love it if it were different..but it's not...so we'll take what we can get.
I am not talking about disrespect here either. If I am in a situation where someone asks, do you mind toning it down because Billy needs it quiet, I try and accommodate. There are times, however when it would be just as easy for the child who has the 'quiet' bent to go off and find their own place instead of us being in the 'wrong.' Our kids are individuals. We need to raise up our children in the way they should go..and they will not depart from it. To me that means providing them with what they need individually so that they can grow into God's plan for them.